TLK в России
Русский фанфик
Марцис Бухолкс  aka Taka
"A little story about how Scar got his scar"

Old Rafiki is telling this story to young pride members

You see all my young listeners...

Scar was once a very, very fat lion. Well his name then was Taka not Scar.
Despite this he was very fat. Not as fat as old Rafiki is now, but fat anyway.
One day (that was long time before birth of Simba, our King) Scar played
with his brother Mufasa. No, no, no! Don't ask me WHAT games they played...
You are not adult enough to understand! Calm down and listen! So.. where
was i? Ahhh... i see... So they played and unfortunately in the heat of ...
erm.. playing Scar squished Muffy. You see - he was SO fat he overweighted
Mufasa at least two times. He was spoiled and always ate more than he
deserved. So Scar stopped and sadly looked at splatted body of his brother.
Suddenly wife of Mufasa - Sarabi came in and spotted body.
Sarabi asked Scar: "What is that flat lion doing on floor?"
Scar said: "Thats... erm... {brightens up} A sticker! My new Lion King sticker!"
"Since you married him i don't see him very often so.. i've ordered his
sticker so i can look at him more often"
Sarabi: "ahh... i see... But why he looks so live-like?"
Scar: "Sassie, it's... {thinks} a Disney!"
Sarabi: "{still unconvinced} Yeah? And why does he breathes?"
Scar: "Well... - it is inflatable sticker. It is inflatable Mufasa actually
... beach toy"
Scar tried to blow up Mufasa
Sarabi watched how Scar blowed.... and blowed... and Mufasa suddenly popped up
Sarabi: "What???"
Scar: "{smiling} Pop-up Mufasa ! {happy} Since you married my brother i
can't play with him anymore..."
Sarabi: "Play? Aren't you too old for games???"
Scar: "{dreamily}Depends WHAT games..."
Sarabi: "{wide eyed} What???? {smacks Scar, leaving terribly scar over his
left eye} YOU!!! Dirty... You!!! That's WHY we don't have any children! And
I THOUGHT Muffy is leaving me each night to patrol borders!!!"

Sarabis rage was terrible and Scar flead away in panic. I healed him, but i
could not remove his scar. So it was. Lionesses knew about WHAT he and
Mufasa was doing and Scar had trouble getting his food. He became thin and
angry. Actually that's what made him to make plot to kill his brother. He
was too hungry all the time. Mufasa and Sarabi had cub, they spoiled him
and Scar was afraid cub will eat more and more and became very fat and
squish Scar one fine day. So he plotted to kill him. And he almost did. But
hyenas always managed to eat his food before he get it. So he was hungry
all the time. Hungry and angry. Simba managed to escape and he returned
some fine day (but i should say for Scar it was not fine). Simba looked
well-fed and lionesses liked him. He overthrove Scar and became our king.
Well kids, that's a little story how Scar got his scar....
There is a lesson in this story: Never eat too much and never eat too less.
Otherwise you will end up as Scar, who was eaten by hyenas or as poor
Mufasa - he was so squished that animators in Lion King movie could barely
make him look like 3D and disguised his 2Dness with some tehnical tricks so
we can't see it.
Little children take care of your stomach - it is important. 
Now go to sleep... It is almost time... 

{Sings lullaby}

Sleep baby sleep, if you will not sleep tight
Some scarfan will came in the night 
And take your fat away
Yeah, yeah, yo, yo

Never take things too seriously or you can't live easily and never take
things TOO easy or you will be living too easy
Sheesh... go figure...



Riga. Thu, 16 Oct 1997. Марцис Бухолкс aka Taka